I have now officially moved 'A Playful Misconception, A Childhood's Dream' to http://delrondu.thinkbrunei.com. I thank MSN Spaces for letting me vent and whine all this while. I couldn't have made it to where I'm at now emotionally and psychologically without it. I really hope they will let me keep this site and all my posts as this has been roughly about two years of my life and I would like to have that option to relive them again someday.

And to all readers out there, thanks for reading and especially all your comments, I enjoyed them thoroughly (er, only those that made sense). It has been quite a ride for me here. Now it's time to move on.

See you there at thinkBrunei.com!

Just came back from a trip to S'pore. What I can't believe is that none of my friends mentioned Christina Aguilera was performing on the Saturday that I was going to be there... And I just found out today that she was. I would have gone for the concert, stand outside and hope someone would sell me a ticket if it was full, sit right at the back and watch the big screen if that was the only seat available. I would rather be there than anywhere else on that night. Yes, His, even if that means not meeting you this trip which I'm sure you would understand.

Instead, that Saturday night His and I were at IndoChine, which was quite decent as they had a very nice acoustic live band. (I went back there with another friend on Sunday as Steph wanted to check them out.) Their repertoire was big enough to not have sung the same songs during those two nights.

But what I really wanted to comment was, after been away from S'pore for what must have been over two years, and after the countless times to KL, S'pore is so much more pleasant and organised. It was very refreshing to say the least. And my experience with Singlish wasn't so bad either.

I got drunk on Friday night at this huge ass clubbing scene called St James. I drank more than I usually would attempt and didn't throw up so I was quite pleased with that. However, at about 5am, I woke up with a headache and knew that my body couldn't absorb the alcohol and they had to come out. So off to the toilet bowl I went. After that, falling asleep was almost immediate.

Highlights of S'pore this trip round, GST is up by 2% to 7% since yesterday, as well as no more smoking allowed in enclosed areas like pubs and clubs which is good, and their national stadium was closed for renovation I think and they have to celebrate their upcoming national day somewhere near Vivo and Sentosa. Oh and I found out on the news there that HK just celebrated their 10 year of independance after the handover.

What's a major turn-off? She enjoys the company of a guy whom you detest.

good god lol.

I don't usually do this but heck, I'll give anything a try once in a while. This was a tag from steve.

1. I love to sing, even though I don't have the voice for it (at least I know it).
2. I wish I was good enough a musician to be in the entertainment business.
3. I can be very fickle when buying clothing for myself, or even dressing myself for that matter.
4. When it comes to video gaming, even though I've been playing all my life, I exude some qualities of a retard.
5. Other than a few moments, I cannot recall my primary years at all.
6. I still don't know what I want in life, but I love to perform.
7. My heart is still on the mend.

Tagging the following:
Carmen
His
Ji Yung (you know you're there)
Michelle
Khai
Anon
Johnny

Received a memo saying that my position has been made redundant by the company. There goes my night job and there goes my salary and there goes my vacation plans and dancing plans. A change is imminent. Something drastic may occur. Suddenly everything is in perspective.

Was driving just the other day when i came across this very thin piece of cloud... and it had the colours of the rainbow on it. Amazing.

So I pulled my back yet again. this, if i kept my count right, is the fourth time. wasn't so bad when i first felt it gave at the gym last week, but two nights ago after drinks with Carmen and her friends in The Curve, while walking home, I sneezed and there it went. Getting to the airport and riding the plane ride was such a torturous experience.

I have made up my mind to start training for dance competition again. I will try and 'advertise' myself, and my ideal partner would be someone shorter and smaller than I am, and not more than 30 years of age. 25 should be the maximum but I'm not exactly the greatest catch right now and Brunei isn't the even remotely a good place to be looking for one.

But JY is right, I'm already 28. My Latin years will be up soon. So better do it now while I know I still can.

It's been a while since it rained this hard in the afternoon and my, what a fantastic feeling. the wind blew in a scent that transported me back to UK, to the streets of Sheffield. feeling that cold on my face and the breeze blowing through me, it's been a long time coming.

Can it get any hotter? I'm inside a room under a fan, i can feel sweat trickling down my stomach underneath my shirt. what's worse is the car's air-con isn't strong enough in this kind of temperature. my shirt can get wet even inside the car. and when it rains, it's only at night when obviously we don't need it.

Watching the guys sing with the girls on the side and then yesterday the girls sang, something was just missing and that being Alaina Alexander is no longer on the show. The only one thing to look forward to was her beautiful smile and those eyes and the locks in her golden hair, and that goofiness that sometimes jumps out of her personality. it's a sad sad thing to see her go so early in the competition. could be a blessing in disguise but just that's what i hope anyways. i have to confess, i really miss her. C'mon America, you favour Antonella over her? you gotta be kidding me. She's so much more fun to watch. And if Antonella makes it through tonight into the top 12, she's going to be taking up someone's spot, someone ten times more deserving.

On March 3, i am proud to say that i've broken a record. a record that i have longed to break but never thought possible. it's the hour in which i wake up from an overnight sleep. on this fateful day, i was able to wake up pass 12 noon!! a feat never achieved until now! the previous one was 11am and that was just a one-off.

It's finally here. well, not quite though. partially as i heard the news (and an old news at that) last week from a friend. the news that i have dreaded for so long and prepared myself in so many ways for. it's been long enough. never knew what or how i'd feel, but now i know. bearable still as nothing yet from my own two eyes. that day will be a challenge, i'm sure of it.

We are Bruneians. We wait till we get our bonus and we come out all at once to do our shopping and whatnot, and have a huge gathering around the Gadong area causing serious traffic jam. We drive like we own the streets, park our big expensive cars wherever we want, and as selfishly as possible, we don't give way even when we will cause a bottleneck which sometimes has a cork in the end. as long as we get what we want, we are happy. because, we are Bruneians. and we are so proud of ourselves.

Here's a confession. well... not so much one when everyone knows about it.

when it comes to girls, i'm not good at it. wasted chances while i try to act nonchalant and cool. i've told myself a million times to break the shyness and take the initiative, be it a simple smile even. but when the time comes, ... nothing happened. i just cant do it. it's pathetic i know. and this doesnt just apply to one type of situation. i'm just weird at being friendly. socialising is a skill i need to acquire. but by identifying the problem now, i can at least try to fix it. maybe this will be my resolution this year.

This picture was taken with CK's camera during the return of YiawChuah to KL. Whoever took this picture, very well done to you. you have managed to capture the most sissified expression of Mr Wong Ji Yung.

Now even if you have never met Mr Wong, you will still get a kick out of this picture. needless to say, he's the one on the right.

JY, well done. you have outdid yourself... yet again. i'll really be the fool if i do not post this up.

(http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2096782586&idx=4)

I think i am beginning to feel that i am able to go that way now. slowly but surely, i hope. actually, i dont hope, but it is necessary. something just clicked. something that is not good, not right, but it did click. i do have someone to thank but even that i cant do. maybe one day, but highly unlikely.

it's still scary to go that way but i am not sure why. again, perhaps the issue of 'settling'. there's no telling what the future will bring when and if it's not written in the stars. life's complicated journey, dont be kind or i'll think you are going easy on me. sarcasm with such gentle insinuation.

I started this blog about a year and a half ago. back then i could pour my heart out and have a sense of release but today, not anymore as too many people i know are avid surfer of this page. not a bad thing but i am no longer able to just say what i want to say. hence i will have to type in subtle terms but still be able to know what i'm writing when i read back one day in the future. There just are some things that i am not strong enough to share openly. it takes courage to be totally honest and i dont have that.

why not just keep a diary? tried and doesnt work as well. somehow, you would make it more 'nicer' and 'readable' when you know there's a potential that other people may read it.

Have you ever had those moments when you pick up a scent out of nowhere and suddenly vague memories started to flush in. And yet, you just cant pin-point where that scent is from or what exactly it reminded you of, but you just know it was a long long time ago in a memory far far away. somewhere in your childhood, in much simpler times with no pressure from life and that was a time when i was more alive than i am today.