Dear You,

Dear Me,

Woe is your heart
all over again

Out of sight
wind in the breeze
a grain of sand
caught in your eye

The feelings surfaced
finally, finally
they hid so well
living the lie

But,

It's time, you know
I know, I know

Give up that life
what could have been
let go your grip
the subtle meanings
existentialism

It's hard I know
but you know, you know

What once was one
the one for you
nothing more, nothing less
memory of the love and lost

A jolt in the mind
it comes and it goes
and you know so well
nothing lasts forever

Silence now, stillness will come
over the rainbow, under the bridge
the freedom in disguise
calling your name

Answer it

You're stronger, you know
I know you know

Be still, your heart
no more, no more
let it all sink
crumble to the earth

Soft earth, soft earth
always catches your fall

Move on, let go
it's ok to let go
you're brave, you know
braver than you know

Shh,

Quiet, listen
a smile so familiar
coming your way
take it in, breath it in
these chains don't bind
open your eyes

Let her go
gentle soul
it's time, you know

Sigh.

Dear me.

Dear you.

"even when we are made to be broken
I still want you to know who I am"

standing here in the shadows
I'm peering through my sorrows
the girl who has conquered my whole
doesn't seem to understand me at all

I watch her fly higher than I can
soaring through the autumn rain
she loves to watch the clouds go by
consciously slowly leaving me behind

sometimes I see her in the deadly darkness
I see her crying out her tears
but like all visions will come to pass
and all that's left is my world collapsed

an iris across the darkened sky
majestic colours invisible in the night
no hearts will fall on this yearning lullaby
as loneliness swallows this forlorn sunrise

"even when we are made to be broken
I still want you to know who I am"

You came out of nowhere.

I wasn't ready for you.

Never thought I'd get this way.

The very first time I first saw you.

Something about you made me look twice.

Talking to you made me realise.

You have the eyes and you have the smile.

Suddenly this place doesn't seem so dull.

But here I go again belittling myself.

What's inside you can't be inside of me.

They say plenty of fishes in the sea.

Yet each one of them doesn't have to be me.

Being in my skin my own true signature.

Unspoken words of two tangled butterflies.

Failed attempts to hear your laughter.

To catch your gaze mine shy, careful and eager.

Such could all be for nothing or for everything.

Being in your presence is such sweet serene.

Parting may be such sorrow and sweet.
But uncertainty, its such a natural beauty.

The season of giving is around the corner.
The whole world will be singing in harmony.
Santa bringing presents to the children.
Joy to the world as loved ones gather to feast.

The stars are out on this lonely night.
Sounds of muffled laughter fills the empty street.
I trudged along the snow-covered sidewalk.
Hands in my coat pocket as my face touched the cold breeze.

What do i wish for this christmas?
I could wish for so many a thing.
New diving gears for summer or a new laptop for work.
But all i ask for is just one simple wish.

I know I cant wish for love as it doesn't work that way.
And that's not what i'm asking for.
Because all I want is to stop missing her.
And perhaps I can finally wish for something else next year.

(inspired by image below, refer http://allpoetry.com/poem/2302537 )

Let me travel through space and time
A shooting star across the sky
Let me tear apart the atmosphere
With burning propulsion faster than light

Let me know of the unknown
A mystery I have longed to solve
Take me there to see my face
How it fairs on my final day

Let me paint my dying breath
It will be my masterpiece
My vestige to the universe
A portrait of how I'll be remembered

The magnificence of a brilliant supernova
Beautiful colours of my destined death
I know now this is how it all will be
My future a remnant within my memory

Walk this walk of despair
Dance this dance of misery
Sing this song of sadness
Live this life of loneliness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walk with me on this journey of adventure.
Dance with me to these serenading love songs.
Sing with me this joy from the overture.
Because there's so much in life to live for,
now that you are here.

But I let you go and watched you walk away.
Our dance together seemed such a long time ago.
The night wind now sings this hurting love song.
I never knew how miserable life can become,
until you showed me a vision of how beautiful it is with you.

Now I walk this walk of despair,
and dance this dance of misery.
Sing only love songs of sadness,
and live this life forever in loneliness.
Because it is with this life that you have left behind,
that, together with forever, I will wait for your return.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm walking, wandering, hoping this road will lead me to you,
somehow.
I'm dancing, alone, hoping you would come and take my hand,
and ask me to rest.
I'm singing, losing my voice, hoping you will hear my calling you,
and catch me as I fall.
I'm living, tiredly living, just hoping to see you again one day,
and one day, again, you will see me too.

So for now,
I'll walk this walk of despair,
and dance the dance of misery.

Inside him he dies away slowly
Inside him he's losing it all bit by bit
Inside him his life begins to fade
The day she decided she is walking away

Inside him there lies his fragile heart
Inside him his fragile heart bleeds
Inside him his blood flows quietly
Quietly flowing out from inside of him

Inside him the deep water is still
Stillness and calm before a storm
A storm to erupt like a dormant volcano
An anguish shrieking only of her name

Inside him time is a stand still
Torturous seconds with no end in sight
Inside him if you listen very closely
You can hear him softly flirting with insanity

Inside him he knows she's gone
Inside him somehow that doesn't make a difference
Inside him now lives an insatiable hole
A black hole vacuuming everything inside of him

Inside him this is it
This is all that's inside of him

Sometimes I wish I could wreck this place
Let go of this frustration, this anger
Throw everything else to the floor
And scream till my voice becomes hoarse

Sometimes I wish I had the strength of ten men
Lift everything off the ground, just to slam it back down
Destroy everything in my vicinity
Just to feel that rush of adrenalin

Sometimes I wish I could summon the courage
The courage to unleash the beast within me
Let loose of this hatred I've kept at bay
This pathetic story of my every single day

Sometimes I wish I was all alone
Alone in this world we think we're living in
Nothing left to anchor me to sanity
Then, only then, can I plan for a painless suicide

This painless suicide should be quick and fast
Then it would be a dream come true
Forgive me for I've never asked to be born
Oh my sweet suicide, when will you answer my call?

Your white petals
Her porcelain skin
Your beautiful bloom
Her sincere beauty
Your gentle touch
Her tender lips
Your torturous gaze
Her suffocating memories

My broken heart
Your evil stare
My restless mind
Your only place
My lethargic mornings
Your glorious hour
My everything
Your every whim

Her long gone perfume
My craving taste
Your disappeared scent

Her warm embrace
My trembling arms
Your crooked stem

Her perfect life
My dying lily
Your decayed form

My only wish
Your beautiful bloom
Her coming home

Whenever I looked into your eyes,
you would look right back into mine.
But all that I could ever see,
was how you don't need me.

Just those beautiful eyes of yours,
they could say so much, so much more.
A thousand words in my ear,
these quiet whispers of sorrow.

You are everything that is beautiful to me,
and everything beautiful about me is you.

But now you're taking your heart so far away,
while my tired wings lay on this island of despair.

There's a song in my head,
playing for you,
eating me away.

There's a tear drop in my eye,
it's the last and only one left,
will you not let it be afraid?

The perfect eyes with the perfect smile,
this perfect girl stands next to me.
but she can't tell, nor can she forsee,

she doesn't realise how she has conquered me.

The furthest place I can stand on Earth,
is when I'm standing right in front of her.
because when she sees, she looks through me,

and these feelings suppressed deep within me.

Take a look at me now, look at my face.

It's the face of a person who's in love with you.
He loves you for all that you are and all that you're not.
He loves you for all that you have ever been dreaming of.

Take a look at me now, and remember this face.
It's the last time you'll ever see it this way again.
For you've asked for the love in his eyes and the pain in his heart,
to leave his body, mind and soul,

just to let you go.

So,

here I go.
As I have tried,

and I have lost.

And I guess it's time I turn and fly away.

But I'll still smile, I'll still care.

For her, I'll still be there,
and always, as her superman.

Glancing ahead,
my footsteps heavy.
Panting for breath,
i am oh so weary.

On this yellow brick road,
where Dorothy found her adventure.
Filled with exciting surprises,
joyous friendships and laughter.

But I've been walking for years,
my anticipation growing lesser.
Looking back from whence i came,
only the horizon greeted my face.

How did i end up here?
Which fork in the road led me here?

Lonely trees accompanying my story.
Moon shining forever so brightly.
This road to nowhere is my journey of life.
Echoes from nothingness with each step of my flight.

If I could leave this town, just for a while,

take a vacation from this existence.

If I could choose my next destination,

I would take a walk outside Heaven's Gate.

If I could take a walk outside Heaven's Gate,

I'd take my time to peer inside,

Familiar faces from a distant memory,

greet me with tales of your forgotten sins.

If I could take a walk outside Heaven's Gate,

I'd learn the language that they speak.

Understand the journey to the other side,

and the purpose of my life and its beauty.

If I could take a walk outside Heaven's Gate,

I would come back a different man.

A man who have seen what he shouldn't have,

but sure of what he can make his life to be.

If I could take a walk outside Heaven's Gate,

I would thank the Lords for their teaching me.

And if I could take a walk outside this city,

I'd be sure to invite you along with me.